12 Days

I’m turning 25 in 12 days.  I feel a little apprehensive, and I know I’m being silly.  I can’t help it!  I’m officially in my mid-twenties.  I’m about to have a meltdown!  It’s entirely selfish, I know.  25 is in no way old.  Another 20-something whining about her birthday.  Big deal.

 

Today I’ve been thinking back on the past five years of my life.  As I closed out my teens, I was on the “right track” – in college, working part time, keeping things together.  But when I turned 20, everything suddenly went off track.  I left CBU, dated a MUCH older man, went back to CBU, went through a few years of financial worry and stress, moved in with a new boyfriend (that claimed he was a hit man?  What the heck, Steph!?!  What were you thinking?!?), and then – at 23 ½,  I met Matt.  Matt changed everything.  I settled down, mostly.  I attached to him as if he was the last drop of water in Death Valley.  So now things are getting back on track, which is, in a word, bliss.  Life now is so much better than it ever has been. 

 

And that makes me excited to turn 25, to see what’s around the corner in the next 5 years.  So I will just keep this in my head for the next 12 days, and enjoy my birthday.  I will revel in the fact that I have survived 25 years, when so many do not.  I will be somber, realizing that I may not be able to enjoy the next 25 years, for my life may end in 10 years, or in 10 days.  And I will relax, stop reminding my husband to buy me flowers, and let this celebration carry me over into another year of happiness, sorrow, and contentment.