Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Not Having It All

As mentioned previously, I went to the APW Book Club on Saturday.  I think the basic message of The Bitch in the House is that you can't have it all.  You can't be a full time career woman, homemaker, cook, housekeeper, and very involved mother (don't even mention homeschooling!). 

I have always thought that my main purpose in life was to raise my children to live for the Lord.*  But how can I do that if I work 40 - 50, even 60 hours a week?  Yet, I don't want to give up on children.  Another thing - childcare is freaking expensive.  I don't think we could afford to pay for childcare at all.  But I don't want to be a stay-at-home-wife-and-mother.  I don't feel like that's fair to my partner, and I just don't think I would be that great at it. 

So perhaps a part time job?  While the kids are in school?  But then what about the ages when they are not in school?  Can our parents be persuaded to watch the munchkins twice a week, six hours a day?

Perhaps the best solution is to wait five (ten) years until we can afford daycare.  (Let's face it - it would be up to me to make that much money.  Matt, just... won't.)  But it gets harder to conceive the older you get, which wouldn't be an issue in five years when I was 28, but at 33, it does become an issue.  Starting a family at 33 means the youngest wouldn't be in college until I was 55!!  There would be no time to resurrect a career.  Starting a family at 24 means I would be done by 44 or 45, with a good 25 years left to pursue a career full time. 

But that blasted daycare...

*I am not a crazy conservative Christian.  I'm extremely liberal.  This is because a) I don't think you should tell other people what they can and can not do (as long as they do no harm to others) and b) I think people should be treated equally and fairly.  Always

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