The Pretty

I didn't want an engagement ring.  I don't like how women compare rings, sizing each other up by the piece of decay on their left ring finger.  So when Matt and I got engaged, I did the practical thing: insisted on matching recycled sterling silver rings.  Bonus: they were $15 on www.etsy.com. 

Gina send me the below photo of a stunning yellow sapphire ring she wants when she gets engaged.  First thought when I saw it?  "I want that!"  It's a gorgeous ring, with sparkling diamonds surrounding the sapphire.  Personally, I think sapphires are the prettiest gemstones: pink, blue, yellow - all gorgeous. 

So then I started thinking about my birthday (in 17 days, thank you very much).  I'm not expecting anything grand or extravagant.  Money is not exactly tight, but we don't have extra to spend on frivolous presents.  I'm asking for Jo-Ann's gift cards - I have wedding dress fabric to buy, and it's expensive.  More on that another time. 

But seeing that ring - oh! the pretty! - made me wish I was getting something impractical.  I wouldn't wear it as an engagement ring, just as a "Oh this old thing?  It was a birthday present" kind of ring.  But maybe next year.  Maybe then I can get the pretty.  Maybe things will go right and Matt won't lose his job and I'll be hired on at the company I currently work for (or land another year contract at another company immediately) and maybe we can spend money on pretty.  Right now, we can't.  I'm okay with that, but sometimes there are fleeting moments (like now) when, honestly, I'm a little resentful.  I know Matt has only been out of work five days, but I don't have much faith that things will improve in the long term.  I feel guilty for being resentful, because I'm the one that picked Matt.  :)

Wow, that was a lot.  And all of this over a silly ring.  Now you see why I didn't want an engagement ring?  ;)