I Will Probably Not Die Earlier Because I'm Fat

According to a new study (link below), excluding persons with diabetes and hypertension, persons with a BMI >35 do not have increased mortality due to obesity.  

 

Conclusions: Obesity-associated mortality risk was lower than estimated in studies employing older BMI data. Only severe obesity (but not milder obesity or overweight) was associated with increased mortality, an association accounted for by coexisting diabetes and hypertension. Mortality in diabetes was lower among obese versus normal weight individuals.

Hah!  I knew it!  I knew so many obese people at church that lived a really, really long time.  And my grandpa is 88, and he has eaten just horribly over his whole life.  Since diabetes and hypertension don’t run in my family (what the heck is hypertension, anyway?), I think my mortality rate is probably normal, compared to everyone else in the USA.

 

Link to the study:

 

http://www.jabfm.org/content/25/4/422.full  

 

 

 

 

 

What I Made

I’ve been wanting a bikini for some time, but plus size bikini’s tend to be quite expensive. 

 

I had some cherry fabric, and I remembered this playsuit from Bettie Page.  It’s super cute.

(http://www.bettiepageclothing.com/separates/what-catch-skirt)

 

I got a McCalls shorts pattern (below), and I altered a dress bodice pattern to make a cute bikini top. 

 

Then I made the shorts a little more high waisted, and I whipped those up.

 

Not pictured is a matching button up skirt to go over the shorts. 

 

Unfortunately, I got a horrible sunburn on my back!  Ouchie!

 

Here is the pattern for the shorts:  http://mccallpattern.mccall.com/m2447-products-705.php?page_id=103

 

 

Birthday

My birthday was a few weeks ago.  We went to Bottega Louie in downtown LA, then to the lounge at the Bonaventure.

 

This is the dress I made.  I used Simplicity 1873, made the back a scoop back, and added petal sleeves.  The dress was really simple to make.  I think Matt’s vest actually took longer!

 

I made Matt’s vest with navy brocade and a navy lining fabric.  I used gold buttons, and I got him a gold tie in the fashion district. 

 

 

Here is the link for the dress:  http://www.simplicity.com/p-7446-misses-miss-petite-dresses-cynthia-rowley-collection.aspx

 

Here is the link for the vest:  http://mccallpattern.mccall.com/m2447-products-705.php?page_id=103

 

 

Thin is a Scam

Awesome blog post about NOT losing weight for your wedding… I love this part about how being thin is a scam!

…I've got no plans to lose weight [for my wedding]. My reasons aren't terribly interesting; they mostly amount to "stupid WIC is stupid". Why should I look unnaturally perfect on my wedding day? Does anyone expect [my fiancé] to be preternaturally beautiful, and do up his hair, and whiten his teeth, and to have been working out seven days a week for the six months preceding his wedding? No, they do not. And I always object to societal standards which require me to do more work than dudes.

I also object to the idea that the less of me there is, the better it looks. Fat and beauty aren't mutually exclusive. Beauty shouldn't be an obligation.

Having said all that, I admit I'm not totally content with my body—who is? Body hatred almost seems like a condition of femininity. I've come out of this particular round of Society vs. Women relatively unscathed, if only because I had the good luck to more or less fall into the narrow bracket of permitted sizes in my culture. I've never been thin by that culture's standards, though—except for once, and that just reinforced the fact that it's all bullshit…

…The privilege of being thin changed the way I thought and acted, in ways that surprised me. For the first time I understood Kate Moss's inexplicable line that "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." I mean, I still believe she said it 'cos she's probably never had chilli pan mee, but—unlike Kate Moss I hadn't made a career out of being conventionally attractive, and yet I found myself checking myself when I was eating because I didn't want to lose the ground I'd gained.

I knew it was all a scam, is the thing. The job of the patriarchy is to plant brainweasels in your head, yeah? The brainweasels are to distract you so you're too busy worrying about stupid things like your waistline to object when dudes keep hogging all the money and power. Thinness is a total con job. It's an impossible goal—you want to be thin because you want to feel beautiful, but as Meg [Keene] points out in [A Practical Wedding], pretty is not an emotion. And it's a dumb reward. Being thinner didn't make me better at anything except wearing size S clothes. It didn't make me kinder to people, or more diligent about writing. It didn't make anyone love me more.

And yet it made a difference. A completely fictitious, societally enforced, brainweasel-based difference—but a difference nonetheless. How freaky is that?

…I'm gonna be "fat" for my wedding. It will make no difference whatsoever.

Because it won't. Strive to lose weight if that's what floats your boat, but remind yourself, when you're being bombarded by evil brainweasels bearing body image angst: it won't make you smarter. It won't make you kinder. It won't make anyone love you more.

Read more: http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/06/being-fat-for-my-wedding

Body image and bikinis

I came across this awesome blog post the other day.  The link is at the bottom.

Summer’s arrival makes me realize how much most women I’m surrounded by (who mostly happened to be big like me) dread wearing a bathing suit. They probably would have an easier time going to a battle ground in Afghanistan than wearing a bathing suit in public. And you don’t have to tell me the list of reasons for such fear/hate/dislike/no-way-in-hell type of thinking. I could say chances are if you’re a fat girl, you know the ordeal of how terrifying that moment can be. But unfortunately stepping out in your bathing suit seems to be a terrifying ordeal all across the board for women of all sizes (thank you dear media/Hollywood/fashion world!).

When you take those covers off and everything is out there for the world to see, people at the beach often don’t hesitate to stare, almost as if to say “how dare do you think you can be happy with THAT body?”. It’s a sad but true fact and not unlikely to happen.

But that’s what I do. I get to the beach; I take my clothes off and enjoy the sun quite comfortably (SPF30 all the way!) in my bikinis, go for a swim, a walk, catch up with my friends and enjoy my family. I suppose I’m that type who really couldn’t care less about the stares at the sight of my size 18 frame, flaunting all my roundness in my collection of 2 piece bikinis. Yes, you read correctly. I have 2 full drawers of bikinis. I’m quite ok with letting all hang out under the sun, without the hang ups about it. Why shouldn’t I?..

…If I had limited myself to do the things I’ve always wanted due to other’s opinion in regards of my body size, I would have not achieved most things I have in my life so far.  And to me that’s just absurd, senseless and flat out unacceptable. Mind you I had a pretty hefty list of things I would not achieve according to others rules. And without even trying, I’ve far surpassed that list.

People will always have their own opinions about things. Most of the times those opinions aren’t the nicest either. Especially when it comes to other peoples looks.  If you’re tall, you’re too tall, if you are short, you’re too short; if your butt is too big you’re fat, if it’s too small if you’re not curvy enough, if you have small boobs you look like a boy but if you have too much you should have a breast reduction. Let’s not even go into cellulites, stretch marks and hair texture. There’s no ending to that list until you say so. I often think that the ones working hard to insert so many insecurities inside women’s minds are often the most bitter and unhappy ones to begin with. After all, misery loves company.

It seems that even though we’re all different and very aware of that, we struggle quite a lot to live with the differences w/o been so bashful and a bitter critic of one another. Everybody is desperately trying to shove themselves inside a uniform mold, like sheep in a heard, lacking the ability to lead for themselves, or have some courage to say “hey, I’m going to be ME and if you don’t like, look the other way”.

I couldn’t have said it better.

 

Next summer – bikini.  No matter what size I am.

 

http://fluvialacerda.blog.com/2011/06/22/summer-time-letting-all-hang-out-without-the-hang-ups/

 

SIX MONTHS

Longest six months of my life.   Best and the worst.

Marraige is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

But at the end of the day, Matthew is still the love of my life.  And that's what matters most.

Money

Matt doesn’t want me to get a second job, but I really, really want to.

Right now, I get off work at 3:30 PM, and I have to wait for him to pick me up from work (can't take public transportation - the system in LA is super horrible, and the shortest commute is 2 hours anyway, and we can't move until our lease is up in 5 months).  Usually he picks me up about 5 - 5:15. 

I keep thinking, if I got a second job, maybe 20 hours a week, he could just pick me up later.  And the $400-500 extra could go towards saving for a second car, paying my student loans, and me getting my own spending money.  I really miss having my own money.  Having to justify every expense, not being able to buy a latte or lunch when I want to... It sucks.  It makes me really angry.

But he doesn't want me to get a second job.  Because then I'll be tired.  Well I'm tired anyway when we get home at 6:30, so I don't see how getting home at 9:30 after working a 4-5 hour shift will be THAT much worse! 

I don’t know what to do, but I’m tired of waiting, bored, for nearly two hours, just so he can pick me up.  And I’d love to be able to save for my own car.  I’d really like to have money in my wallet, instead of being hungry, unable to buy food because dear husband didn’t feel like he needed to give me any spending money.

I hate this dependency.  I’m angry, and frustrated.  I keep thinking I’d be better off single. 

To be honest, what I would really rather do is split the bills 50/50.  Cuz you know what?  I’d have $1000 spending money each month.  (Not that I’d spend it all.  I really would like my own car.)  If we did that, though, Matt’s salary would barely be able to cover his portion of the bills.

Maybe if I gave him part of my paycheck, it would work.  Like an allowance.

Yeah he wouldn’t go for that either. 

But this…this is just not working at all.